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09.02 – 09.08

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Life

Αα got a wheezy cough early in the week and we took both kids to the doc because we’re on a hair trigger. He put us at ease, but I didn’t feel remotely daft for having taken them and I’ll go again (or to A&E) in an instant if things deteriorate in the slightest.

Andy P came to shoot the shit after work on Wednesday. Lots of shit got shot, and very pleasant it was too. We (I) half-arsed it on the hosting stakes, but fairly sure he gave us a pass.

Niamh came to stay in order to finalise some exciting book business with her publisher. She also kept the kids entertained for hours on end.

We took the train up to Glasgow on Saturday then took a bus to the hospital to see Johnny, Jim, and Ange. I get the impression Johnny and Dani are living in a kind of suspended animation. It’s hard to get a read on Aila’s condition. Ange has a (borderline-toxic) positivity which renders her evaluation null and void. Johnny doesn’t give much away (in part because I think talking about it would make it more real than he’s got the strength to admit). So we piece things together from dribs and drabs and sway from hope to despair at least twice a day.

Our Scottish crew (well, Catriona) had laid on a last-minute birthday bash for Σσ in the afternoon. It was exhausting to talk to a lot of people in quick succession about the unavoidable topic of how shit everything is, but it was good to see everyone and I think it managed to divert Sara for a moment at least. The weather even came good and we went on to Kelvingrove park playground to let some steam out of the amassed children.

Went back to the hospital the next day and saw Dani. I don’t know how she and Johnny are holding it together but they are and it’s truly remarkable. It was all I could do not to cry all the time. Σσ’s aunt Janet came out to see us there too. It was nice to see her but she takes ‘highly-strung’ to performative lengths and I couldn’t shake the feeling she didn’t like being out-stressed by people experiencing demonstrably horrendous life events. She gave a couple of examples of what a hard time she was currently having and they were almost laughable in the circumstances.

Took the kids to the Riverside Museum which was pretty good – not quite enough walls so I very nearly lost both of them on several occasions. Lots of steam/fire engines, Graeme Obree’s bicycles, and a gift shop full of pirate merch.

Jim and Ange took Ηη onto the tall ship while we sank a pint at the neighbouring bar accompanied by some arresting live music from the Malin Lewis trio. Hard to know if it was objectively as good as I found it, or just whether it was so at odds with what we’ve been dealing with. I guess it’s irrelevant – it was excellent in the moment and that’s all that matters.

I’m starting to recognise the damage being done to my body from not taking good enough care of it. I’m going to take steps to improve that, because feeling bad about my physical condition does nothing for my mental wellbeing either.

Work

I began the process of becoming profoundly confused by IIIF Auth 2.0.

Running

• Tuesday hills
• Wednesday Regent’s
• Thursday Ally Pally
• Friday marshes